Redneck Computer Lingo
                                                    

"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy 
hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer 
load of fertilizer. 
"Keyboard" -- Place to hang your truck keys. 
"Window" -- Place in the truck to hang your guns. 
"Floppy" -- When you run out of Polygrip. 
"Modem" -- How you got rid of your dandelions. 
"ROM" -- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola. 
"Byte" -- First word in a kiss-off phrase. 
"Reboot" -- What you do when the first pair gets 
covered with barnyard stuff. 
"Network" -- Activity meant to provide bait for 
your troot line. 
"Mouse" -- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your 
beer bottle in order to get a free case. 
"LAN" -- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me 
yore truck." 
"Cursor" -- What some guys do when they are mad 
at their wife and/or girlfriend. 
"bit" -- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that
 watermelon seed across the porch longways.
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the 
TV remote. 
"packet" -- What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart 
bag before a trip.