Man, this page looks so... sucky!

Yep, because all the formatting on the page is controlled by CSS. You can still see everything the site has to offer, it just looks, well... sucky. You can live with it, or you can do something about it. Assuming you have control over your browser selection and the hardware necessary to upgrade.

If you are looking for alternative browsers that are standards compliant, webstandards.org has a number of options for you to explore. So, go ahead, see what this site really looks like.

Bang, Bang on the Wall
a song lyric by Bimjo
[sung to tune of 'Home, Home on the Range'] *********************************************************

Oh, give me a wall
anywhere in the hall
where the wallboard is heavy and hard
where seldom is heard
a thump or curse word
and my head won't make plaster fall

[chorus]
Bang, bang on the wall
help me forget the pain of it all
I don't wanna be dead
I just wanna hit my head
and forget that my back hurts at all

[with apologies to anybody who's ever really written song lyrics...]

my skin is thin
a Po M
by Bimjo
****************
my skin is thin
it keeps me in
but it don't
keep others out

why this is
I cannot wiz
wish I could
no doubt

stick and stone
they make me groan
and turn all
technicolor'd

but a poor turned word
like a shot in the herd
stampedes my ego
uncover'd

I sniff, I cry
I just wanna die
well.... ummm
maybe later

life is short
make me snort
laughing truly
is greater

my skin is thin
it keeps me in
but it don't
keep others out....

the guy
a short story
by Bimjo
******************
in the beginning...
the guy was born
the guy lived
the guy died
the guy was buried
the guy was mourned
the guy was forgotten
in the end

I said it was short, whatd'ya want?

Answers to ALL of Life's Questions

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Maybe.
4. I don't know.
5. Who cares?
6. Go ask your mother.
7. Because I said so.
8. Because it pisses you off.
9. Because we have the technology.
10. Because it appeals to my sense of the absurd.

Notice!

Levity will only be tolerated on alternate Thursdays falling on even numbered days that occur in every third odd numbered month falling in every 5th leap year that does not end in a zero.

Any Questions?

a web psalm
by Bimjo
******************

The web is my shepherd, I shall not blog.

It maketh me lie down in surreal green pastures of electrons.

It leadeth me beside still modems, it restoreth my browser cache.

It leadeth me in the paths of the inane and profound for its name sake.

Yea, though I surf through the valley of interminably dismal offerings, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me for $19.95 a month unlimited access. Thy search engines and directory listings they comfort me.

Thou preparest a web before me in the presence of mine web surfin' buddies, thou anointest my monitor with phosphors, my inbox runneth over.

Surely fast access speeds and high bandwidth shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in cyberspace forever.

bimjoriginal™ quotes, or
things i've said
***************************

How are things going?  Things are great so far but the (pick one: Day/Week/Month/Year ) is still young, and the potential for disaster is STILL HIGH!

If you can't go fast, you gotta look fast goin' slow.

Just what exactly IS the half-life of Bullshit?

You have such a firm grasp of the obvious.

It must be nice to have such a rich fantasy life.

You're a prime candidate for retroactive birth control. Don't delay, sign up now and avoid the rush!

Come onnnnnnnnnnnn funny feeling!

Common sense is the first casualty of the early 21st century. Okay, it's a carryover from the last one...

a new year resolution
***************************

I (state your name) resolve to be resolute in my resolution of the resolving issues that surround us in these resolute times.

I further resolve that resolute resolution of resolutionary resolve shall not stay me from my task, or the path of resoluteness for its own sake.

Finally, I resolve that resolution, being the key to the resoluteness of resolve, shall be foremost in my resolute thinking, feeling, and action. I so resolve. So help me (insert deity of choice).

NEWS FLASH!!
***************************

Tasked by the environmental section with coming up with a shielding material more effective than lead in reducing the effects of gamma radiation, RadCon Staff members at Hanford's Spent Nuclear Fuels Project have discovered a new element they call "Blackholium". Blackholium has an atomic mass of 3.8E^Infinity and an atomic number of 666.666.666.

While initial indications are that Blackholium will be a very effective gamma shielding material, reducing radiation levels to less than detectable levels, there are some concerns, chiefly that every single bit of matter (biological or otherwise) that has come into contact with Blackholium has disappeared.

The senior RadCon staffer assigned to the project was quoted as saying "Blackholium seems to be extremely effective at reducing gamma radiation at the fuel basins. Since installing the Blackholium shield we have been unable to detect any gamma radiation at all at the basins. In fact, we haven't been able to detect the basins since the installation."

Due to its unstable nature and its propensity to make things disappear, research is proceeding slowly. Because of its mass it must be created in place. The process is extremely energy dependent as well, requiring tremendous quantities of electricity. So much electricity is required that DOE may need to restart all the Hanford reactors to support the process.

Once the new staffers are up to speed with the working characteristics of Blackholium and have trained their replacements, work will continue.

it's just a game...
***************************

In the final analysis,
after the hot dog wrappers
and drink cups are swept up,
the scores tallied, the stats
compiled, the beat writers
submit their stories, after
the bumps and bruises are
attended to, the equipment
readied for the next battle,
the curses cursed, the praises
heaped, it's wise to remember...


It's just a game.