Bumper Stickers & License Plate Frames We've Seen (Or Would Like To)

• Seen on a Lincoln: My other car is a skateboard.
• Seen on a VW Bug: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Porsche.
• I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!
• Unless you're a hemorrhoid, get off my ass!
• BOHICA! (Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!)
• Bimjo's Geo Metro: (when I get around to getting it) So who needs 4 cylinders?
• Welfare should be as hard to get as a building permit. ( Sent in by Rick )
• Save the whales, collect the whole set. ( Sent in by Rick )
• Could you be incredibly f**king stupid, SOMEWHERE ELSE! ( Another one sent in by Rick )
• WARNING! The motorist you cut off in traffic today might be the barber with the razor at your throat tomorrow.
• Yeah, but what does chicken taste like???
• POOF! Be Gone!
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

You know you're in big trouble when....

• the drill instructor in boot camp asks you "Do you like me private?".  There is no answer, just start doing pushups.



• your wife/girlfriend asks "Does this dress make my butt look fat?".  There is no answer, prepare to sleep on the couch.

• (From 'The Marine Shop', Quantico VA):  When you're up to your ass in alligators, it can be difficult to remember that the initial objective was to drain the swamp.
• If God didn't intend for us to pick our noses, why did (S)He make our fingers fit our nostrils so well?  (Anonymous)
• Well, no shit Sherlock!  (Bimjo's First Battalion Sergeant Major)
• There are three states of matter in the Marine Corps:
  1. If twenty privates couldn't f**k it up, this (item being described) must be Good Shit!  (usually means that the item is useable)
  2. This (item being described) is a Piece of Shit  (usually means that the item isn't totally useless, but MUST be improved greatly)
  3. This (item being described) is a Mickey Mouse Piece of Shit  (the ultimate insult toward a piece of worthless equipment)
• Son, were you born stupid, or do you have to work at it every day?  (The Company Commander)
• FUBB NAB (F**ked Up Beyond Belief - Needs Ass Beatin'  (Rifle Range Coach at Edson Range- written in someone else's range data book)
• You will go, and you will have fun. (The Company Gunny explaining how we were going to attend a function nobody wanted to go to, usually a parade)

Do the foodstuffs merchants really think anybody is buying that "Some settling of contents may have occured during shipping" crap? Come on! This is the 21st century, update the packaging, make it smaller, or just fill the damn box all the way to the top. Sheesh!

PETA- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Noble cause, but why isn't there a PETP group? You know, People for the Ethical Treatment of People?

Yo! "Web Designers"! (read as "dork"- see here) Enough complaining about how Netscape messes up your tables/CSS/scripts/brilliantly non-conforming, non-validating code. Either ignore it, or learn to deal with it. But fer crissakes quityerbitchin' about it already. We've heard it all before, and quite frankly, we're gettin' freakin' tired of it!!

Yo! "Web Designers"! (part deux) Have you ever considered that maybe you're approaching the whole thing backwards? Every motivational speaker you'll ever listen to will tell you that you have to work to the lowest common denominator to successfully reach your goals.

Rather than designing for all the "bells and whistles" (IE) first and trying to make it work in a less capable browser (NS), why not design for the lesser capablilties of NS and when that works add the bells and whistles for the IE crowd?

You don't start building a skyscraper on the 32nd floor, you start in the basement and work your way up. Obviously you aren't going to build two versions of the same building, but you could easily build two versions of your site.

Is it more work? Sure, but it's easier this way than pulling all your hair out trying to adapt "bells and whistles" to a "meat and potatoes" browser.

Feel the need to communicate with His Grand & Exalted Bimjoness hisself?? Well, here's where ya do it! Don't be shy. If you have something you'd like to see here, just let me know and I'll see what I can do about getting it on here.